Will I cry at the airport?
That is one thing that kept running in my mind when I was on the journey to KLIA (although I must admit the Did-I-Left-Anything-Important-Or-Just-Anything-At-Home-Thoughts) for The Day, or casually known as the day I ‘fly’.
Yes, my mind is more pre-occupied on who will come that day, how many of my friends would come and how do I juggle to have One Last Conversation with my friends from 2 of my worlds (Subang and High School).
Well, (not) to my surprise, only a handful came with many people bailed out last minute due to transportation problem, exams, assignments etc and I would not blame them for that. It’s just that maybe the timing sucks (Sunday night are you serious??)
I appreciate those people who came and all of them are very dear to me. They are like my family.
I had Jack and Ira, two closest and sweetest brother and sister I have ever known who came all the way to the airport to send me off and would later rush back to KYUEM and have a Monday morning class.
I had Safuan whom came all the way from the events he had went to (Can’t remember what cause he seems so busy on that day), my dormmate and my first real friend (and rival) at Koleq.
I had Chaw, whom, well stays in Enstek which is damn near to the airport but he travelled from KL because he got a BTN camp the next day. Known him and clicked with him since school due to him being ‘Budak Subang’ as well.
I had Azhan, my childhood friend whom I have known since I was 10 due to being classmate when I moved back to SK Seafield that year. The first person to ‘tegur’ me and then after we went to separate ways after UPSR (He went to SMSAH), we met again on 2011 and later on keep on lepak (Eventho not as much as those younger days).
And most importantly, I had my family who had went through everything from I was a kid who dreamt of flying off to pursue my studies to actually flying off to pursue my studies. Nothing I can do to ever repay what they have done for me.
And I will trade nothing for my family and dear friends cause they are priceless.
And you know, I never thought I would cry when it was announced that we all had to go to the Departure Hall. I was so relaxed and excited and anxious before the announcement. Even when Ira asked me how do I feel, I couldn’t answer her question properly because truthfully, I didn’t even know how I felt that time. I didn’t even know how should I feel at that time. I tried to be happy but my theory is (relative to Physics-cant-remember-which-Law-was-it) if you are too excited on something and when it’s time to say goodbye and the end, you will feel the very Pang of realization all this would soon end and terrible sadness will suddenly gashes into you. And you will be there, starstrucked. That sudden realization that it’s time already; it’s time to leave.
That Pang happened to me after that very announcement. Yes, I cried. I may not be the toughest of guy you ever known but I never ever cry in front of many people and it was only once, and the last time when we lost the PPM Last 16 Debate against SASER.
And I donno if it is blessing in disguise or what but if every of my friends were to come, I could not bear the thoughts of crying in front of all of them. So yeah, and the funniest thing is, the last time I cried was with Jack and Safuan, my debate teammates. And there i was, at the airport, with the same exact people, i cried.
And of course, my parents, they cried. They say do not ever make a mother cry but I hope God will forgive me that if I have made my mother cried it was because for the best of me, her only son.
But life must continue forward. There’s no use of living in the past. If it is the best for you, then go for it eventhough you have to leave everything you love behind. Life must go on. if it’s the best for you, then it must be the best for everyone close to you (eventhough how painful it could be to them).
I must admit I have lots of things that I didn’t get to do back in Malaysia with more friends whom I haven’t met for quite some time. But I will always keep whatever memories that I have from the moment I had went through, to use them as a lesson and a teaching for me to embark this 20s journey (I’m getting old people!)
Cause no matter how scary the outside world would be, I still have my family and friends back at home (and across the world) to always support and give me advice when I’m down.
And they have done a pretty darn good job back at home.